The Obstacles.

This week has truly shown me a lot and I have learned a lot. Besides the amount of stress I have had to endure from school and work, I also have had skip a week on my podcast because an interview fell through.

Last week, I scheduled my good friend to come to my house on Sunday so we can record her interview episode and we were both so excited about it.  I had all of the questions planned out and I was ready to “coach” her in how to do an interview and just encouraging her to not be afraid to be herself and don’t worry about the microphone in front of her.

I was ready for all the things.  I spent nights tossing and turning thinking about how this interview would go and what I would tell my friend before and how the interview would go.

And then I got the text message.  It was 10:30 at night on Saturday, I had texted her earlier that night, just to make sure that we were still on for tomorrow.  And the text message read “I am actually not free anymore sorry:(“ and my heart began to race faster and I freaked out. I had three days until I had to put up another episode and this interview was supposed to be my game plan for this week.

On Monday morning, I went to my mentor freaking out and she told me straight up “Sammi, this is a fixable problem.  Take a deep breath.” and so we brainstormed. We thought of different types of episodes that I could whip up that night, edit the next night, and have it all ready for Wednesday’s publishing time at 6 AM.  

Monday night, after work and religious class and hitting the gym, I sat at my desk and I got right to work.  For 15 minutes (that would later become 11) I rambled about the motivational and inspirational people who help me and have inspired me throughout this journey and how I came across them.

This episode was very sporadic and my mind was all over the place while recording it because I rushed through it with no plan of action or any intention and I just did it just to get it done.

Tuesday, I edited it rushed, again, because I was frustrated that this week’s episode had not turned out the way I wanted it to and I just wanted to cross this off my to-do list.  

With the episode recorded, edited, and uploaded, I didn’t think anything of it until it was published and I began to listen to it at the gym.  

As I began to listen to it, I began to cringe and get upset with myself.  In most of my episodes, I often cringe at the way I say things or at the sound of my voice but this was a deeper cringe.

I was disappointed with myself that I had allowed myself to put this out on the internet.  I was disappointed because I knew this was not my best work and that I had not put the time and effort into this that I had wanted to.

So later that day, I deleted the episode and I posted a Instagram story on my podcast Instagram page apologizing for having no episode this week and I began to explain the following.

I explained that from the beginning of this journey and the beginnings of this podcast that I would only put out quality content that I stood by and felt good about and that I believed would help them and I told them I would not have an episode for this week.  And then I began to show up in the other areas such as posting an AMAZING inspirational post on my main Public Figure Instagram account and did my homework and did the work.

Of course, I learned a lesson from this that not everything has to be so sunshine and rainbows and that I should of left the episode up and that I should always have a backup for situations like this but I didn’t think that this would happen.  Although I always plan and “expect” for the worst, I really was counting on my friend to pull through.

All we can do in a situation like this is to move foward and that is surely what I am doing. Next week, I will have multiple people over to record their episode for my podcast and I will begin the editing process for each of them.  As well, I will rework my plan for my podcast moving forward.

All we can do is move forward and show up. Of course, consistency is key but one slip up and one “life got in the way” moment won’t hurt many souls.  The plan is to plan ahead and be more mindful of situations like this.

Written February 13th, 2019

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